Round Two (Some News)

We’d always said 3 years in between kids seemed like a good spread. And so we did exactly that. Kid #2 is expected to arrive on October 8th, 2015. Hi, baby!

UltraSound baby2 13 weeks 1

Given that our first child was a surprise, it was awesome this time around to have been planning for this. Although we are so happy with our first child and we don’t at all regret the surprise of it now, the first few months of pregnancy were marked by shock and worry. We’d just started a new business and weren’t making any money. We were busy. We lived in a junior one bedroom apartment. Our happiness now is really a reflection on human adaptability and the fact that we can all make things work and embrace the surprises life sends us.

I’m grateful for the challenge of the surprise the first time around–it made me a lot more comfortable with the idea that even when it doesn’t feel like the “right time,” things still work out. This takes some of the anxiety out of taking a chance.

For a while we didn’t know if we’d have more children. The early baby days can be so difficult–anxiety, sleep deprivation, isolation, and the huge change from life before baby–that it took a long time for us to even think about doing it all again. I’m also conscious of the impact that adding another human to the world has on the environment.

But it came down to the long-term picture for us. When I imagine us old, I hope that it’s surrounded by a family–our kids and their partners, and their own kids. Sometimes you need to take a different perspective to discover those buried desires–the ones that are hard to envision in the present day. And as for the environmental impact, I know we can raise our kids in an Earth-friendly way–trying to reduce our impact as much as possible and teaching our children how to respect their environment, just as we teach them to respect other people.

Family. -)

But, it was certainly a nice contrast this time to have been planning and trying for this baby–to experience the excitement of the positive pregnancy test, the thrill of calling up my midwives, and the fun of slowly sharing the news.

Of course, there’s another turn to this new baby’s story. October 8th may have rang some bells, especially for my family and close friends–it’s is the anniversary of the day my sister, Kirby, was killed in 2009. Now, it’s something like 5% of babies who are born on their due date, so in all likelihood, that won’t be baby’s birthday. But the due date will always be a day flagged in my mind.

I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it’s nice to put a positive spin on a significant and sad day. At some point, I hope that October 8th can become a day to celebrate as much as mourn the life of my sister. But this loss radiates a pain that I know will never go away, and any celebration in our family, on any date, is always tinged by the reality that Kirby isn’t with us.

My sister Kirby, full of life.

My sister Kirby, full of life.

As I’ve told people my due date, I’ve sort of shrugged and said, “yup, interesting date.” There’s not much to say beyond that. Sometimes a thing just can’t be spun any differently.

When I was pregnant with Linden, it was just the topper to a whirlwind period of change in our lives–we’d quit our jobs, moved cities, and opened our own business. And then we moved into a new house 1 month before she was born. Our life is a bit more stable this time around, although there’s a good possibility we will move houses soon before or after this kid is born (thanks, TO housing market). Can’t let life get too boring…

So that’s my big news! And yes, I blame exhaustion and nausea for how quiet it’s been around here lately. Hopefully I’ll get back into a better rhythm now that I’m feeling better!

The decision to have kids and how many is a huge one. I’m curious–what factors when into your decisions to have kids, not have kids, how many you decided to have, etc?

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12 responses to “Round Two (Some News)

  1. Congratulations to the Allison family. It is always wonderful having another child.Hope the morning sickness goes away quickly. Yahoo!

    • Thanks, Judy! Yes, morning sickness is mostly past and I can try to focus on eating a bit healthier! No more second breakfast and second lunch for me. haha

  2. It’s an interesting date indeed. What an intricate and beautiful web HE weaves so sensitively that every detail has meaning. Your faith comes through in reflecting that things work out.

    Congratulations to your family. I’m sure everyone is filled with anticipation again. And I love that a previous commenter is at working crocheting again. Every baby should have the gift and love of something homemade.

    Sorry about the nausea, etc. ugh…I remember that. A can of cheez spread and crackers helped me throughout the day, and my husband always kept the gas tank full so I wouldn’t have to drive into a gas station.

    • Thank you, Georgette! Ha, that’s funny–my mother also had a strong aversion to gasoline with one of us. In my first pregnancy, I hated the way our apartment smelled! It was terrible. This time around I just want to eat EVERYTHING!

  3. Super excited for you guys! Linden’s going to be an awesome big sister. And that due date? I think it’s perfect, even if the munchkin doesn’t arrive on it. Does if it feel like a touch on the shoulder from Kirby? I never had the pleasure of knowing her, but from everything I hear, it sounds like just the kind of wink she’d give. Hugs to all of you!

    I always wanted kids. As for how I decided on how many to have…well, let’s just say that I realized with number two that I am a horrible pregnant person. The miserable, cranky, hormonal kind that no one should have to deal with, so I stopped at two. In addition, with having one of each, I felt pretty complete. Not to say Tom and I didn’t have the baby conversation when we got together, but by the time he arrived on the scene, neither of us had a burning desire to do diapers while having teenagers. 🙂

    • Haha, I’m a pretty decent pregnant person (well, most of the time–perhaps not this weekend when I was shopping for maternity clothing and ended up going back to the mall a second time to buy something I didn’t get the first time–after throwing a tantrum because of bla bla bla I was crazy).

      But yeah, even with usually being pretty ok with pregnancy, I wonder whether I will really want to do it again! It’s rough, especially with other kids!

  4. Jean — I’m so happy for you!!! The date is indeed interesting, but somehow I think Kirby and Liz are loving this… bringing love and joy to replace the sadness and grief… in the most delightful way! A new person to love fresh from Heaven. Big congrats and warm fuzzy hugs for you all. Hmmm… Looks like I need to get crocheting again, eh?

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