Do you believe in signs? Do you believe in an afterlife, or that people who’ve left this life are still around, somehow touching our lives in small or even sometimes big ways?
After announcing my pregnancy, I got a lot of really beautiful comments, both here and from friends and family, noting that although I’ve been feeling neutral about my due date (which falls on the anniversary of my sister’s death), it definitely meant something.
It’s funny, because I’d probably be the first to tell another person that a coincidence like that was significant. I do believe that the dead are still with us, in ways we don’t necessarily understand. I even find reincarnation convincing, despite the fact that my Christian background doesn’t support it. Nature-The Universe-God is the ultimate recycler–there are countless examples in the natural world of the fact that nothing ever truly disappears–it all feeds back into new life.
From the decay… “Spring Crocus” by Swallowtail Garden Seeds on Flickr
I’ve felt signs in my own life. The spectacular sunset over Rai Lei Beach in Thailand when my sister and I were missing my grandfather’s funeral. The time I found the card and gift my late cousin had given to us for our wedding–a couple of years after that event but just a few months after he’d passed away. The time at my parents’ house in the weeks following my sister’s death, when I was afraid to be in the attic alone but forced myself to turn off the light before going downstairs, only to have it be on again when I returned to go to sleep.
Rai Lei Beach. “Dusk at the Bar” by S B on Flickr
And yet, when I saw that my due date was October 8th, I just shrugged and didn’t let myself think much of it beyond it being “interesting.”
Sometimes it’s startling to realize that you haven’t let yourself feel something, especially when you’re a person who’s usually aware of the thrum of your own emotions. Now I’m finding it hard to consider this without tearing up.
But perhaps this is exactly “the kind of wink she’d give.” Yes, maybe it’s true that Kirby “sprinkled some spirited angel dust on this one” and that “babies born on another’s significant day… carry with them something special from the other person.”
That my kids will never meet my sister is one of the sharpest and most constant pains I carry in my life. And I know I’ll always feel that. To think that maybe she does in fact know them and continues to touch our lives is a comfort beyond measure. Sometimes it’s hard to let yourself accept that kind of blessing.
So thank you for all of the warm wishes and comments to thaw my icy denial, for helping me receive this little gift.
❤
the self-styled life 
Reblogged this on dazedamazednp.
I believe in signs 200%. Two years ago, I went with my granddaughter to my husband’s grave site to put a butterfly solar lite next to his plaque. Meanwhile, I had a monarch butterfly tattooed on my right chest 1 1/2 yrs after he passed away as a reminder to me that he loved to travel when on earth and that he was at his happiest times when he did so. Once I placed the lite in the ground, my granddaughter said, “Look Gram Gram. There is a monarch butterfly right there.” The butterfly flew about a foot right in front of us.It then sat on a branch of the tree nearest us, did a few more swoops by and then flew off. I was so glad she was with me to see this as I don’t think anyone would have believed me.
On another occasion, while at my grandson’s lacrosse game, it happened again. My daughter and her hubby and I were sitting along side watching the game. All of a sudden, I saw this monarch butterfly fly in front of all 3 of us and then it flew over to where my grandson was standing. It circled him a few times, came back right in front of us even closer this time and then went back onto the field where Brad was playing. I told Tanya that her dad just was there and, of course, she didn’t know what I was talking about. Once I told her the meaning of why I got the tattoo, she also felt his presence and was so impressed to have the butterfly come back to us one more time. That turned her into a believer that day.
Also, from the day I came out of the centre where my husband passed away, every time I got into the car to drive any where, Johnny Reid’s son “Thank You” played on the radio. That happened consistently for the first year after his death. Until that day, I had never heard of that song. Even now, with it being almost 7 years since he passed away, whenever I am down and having a rough day and I get in the car, that song comes on and I feel so much better.
Some may just say it is coincidence, but I believe that the lost ones are witch us when we need them the most.
a truly beautiful reflection, Jean! One of our greatest human challenges is keeping our hearts open to the Divine within us all. We are all one in the Spirit of Love…there is no separation.
Understanding the world around us–especially the unseen parts–is, to me, a conversation. We pluck out the threads that are significant to us and make meaning out of them, even if we never have proof that there is inherent meaning or something placed there by God/The Universe/Other Thing Beyond the Veil. It still means something to us because we’re talking to it and telling it what we think and feel 🙂 So the meaning is real, and to me there’s no way *not* to believe in signs, because they tell us what we know and help us to understand more.
PS Have you ever read the short story The Vane Sisters by Nabokov? It’s about signs and seeing and being open to understanding. It’s short. Do eet. Do eet nao.
Reblogged this on Arte y Cultura Perú.
I do believe in signs, everyone does to a certain extent no matter how much they might deny it… I hope the baby coming on or around such a significant date in your life brings you comfort and solace.